Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Letter to a soldier...

Dear soldier,

I've been thinking about you a lot today, as I do every day. I've seen the news, and I've read the newspapers...
I know how you told me before you left, not to put my trust in the mainstream media, and to always question that which they display as fact...but it is hard when I haven't heard from you in weeks, and when I worry so much about your well-being.

They say that no news is good news, and unless I am a recipient of the dreaded home visit, you know the one to which I am referring, or unless I hear otherwise, that I should take comfort in knowing you are out there somewhere, fulfilling your obligations, manning your weapon, surviving your missions... I try to take comfort in this, as I know that there are so many whose loved ones have not come home, whose seat at the dinner table will be empty in years to come, whose children will never feel their arms around them again...

And yet, I still sit here. Day after day, I sit here and I stare out the window, and I stare at the four walls around me, and I pray to God that today will be the day that I hear from you, and that I will find comfort in your words, however brief they may be. I pray that you will have the strength and the stamina and the necessities you need to be successful in your duties...

I think about this war, and those who have given their lives in sacrifice for our freedoms, defending our country, standing up for what is right, and fighting to the death to help another country cultivate the same sense of security in their own land. I think about them, and I applaud them, and my heart breaks for them, and yet I am selfish -- I do not want you to become one of them...

I want to be strong for you, and I want you to be proud of me, that I am not falling apart in your absence. I portray to you when I am able to, that I am a rock, although inside there are times when I am crumbling...

I hear songs on the radio that remind me of you... I sing along and try to hold the tears back as the same melodies that we sang together to, danced to, lived by... haunt me...

I see photographs of us together... times gone by that remind me how special you are... how very unique you are... and how very much I want to have more photos like this taken in the future...

I drive down familiar roads, and pass by familiar places, where you and I have been together, and I feel so very small and alone there without you now...

The truth of it all, is that I miss you.
I miss our conversations, from the mundane, to the comical, to the extreme...
I miss your face. I miss looking into your eyes and seeing myself in their reflection...
I miss your smile.. the way your mouth turns up at the corners and your warmth radiates the room and permeates my soul...
I miss your laughter... I miss the way the sound of it makes even good times better...
I miss your arms holding me close and letting me know that everything is going to be okay...

I miss you...

Love,
me

9 comments:

Emily said...

Did you write this? Very, very familiar words to my heart...

proud fan said...

Yeah hun I did, just this afternoon...
feeling really melancholy today...

Call Me Grandma said...

That letter said it all. That was me for one year. My time is almost over. Thank God!

mamabear said...

so beautiful, hard to type through this mist.

proud fan said...

thank you all, it was what was on my mind lately. I think all of us with loved ones who are deployed feel like this some days... I just wanted to get it off my chest and share it.

Sandra said...

That is beautiful and it describes exactly how it feels when your hubby is deployed. There's days that you just want to hear their voice or get a small email or a letter, ANYTHING, just saying that they are ok.

You did an outstanding job writing that letter, thank you so much for your continued support of the troops :)
God Bless,
Sandra

Sandra said...

Thank you so much for the beautiful letter. You described everything we feel when our husbands are deployed, it's hard somedays when all you want to hear is their voice, or get an email or a letter not matter how short, just something to keep you going and let you know that they're still thinking of you.

Thanks again for all the support you give the troops, it's truly appreciated.
God Bless,
Sandra

Carrie T. said...

Whoever can read this and not shed a tear has never loved someone in the military like we have.
What a beautiful heart felt post and thank you so much for sharing.

Scarlett said...

WOW This brings back all those feelings I had while hubby was gone.

Thank you for sharing.